i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
