You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
