So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
