How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
