you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
