considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
