why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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