how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
