Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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