You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
