she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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