I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
