your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
