So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
