he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
