Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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