he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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