We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
