so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
