How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
