Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize