I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
