Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
3pm strippers are depressing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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