Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
