Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
ttyl tear gas
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
