I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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