Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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