if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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