sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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