She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
