THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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