So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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