I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
