so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize