We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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