Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
