you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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