I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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