what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
