I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
