I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This baby is an asshole
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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