Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish I only lived at night.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize