oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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