I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
