When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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