So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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