did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
