found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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