how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
