True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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