Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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