Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
