you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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