would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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