I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Are we still banned from the library?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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