please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
