turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
