trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
