Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
