My room smells like vodka and shame
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
