You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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