there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
