You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
