theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
