he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
