So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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