He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize